Bye-Bye, Guilt: How I Stopped Sabotaging My Weight Loss Efforts


I never knew that healthy eating could be so much fun. We all know how good that bacon blue cheese burger is, or that salty chip, but a lettuce wrap with hummus, tomatoes, avocados, red onions, and artichokes?! Yep! It is yummy, fun, and delish!!!! When I went food shopping this week I felt so empowered buying all that good healthy food for my Feel Great Weight meal plan! I was also amazed by how much cheaper healthier foods are—and more importantly, how liberating it is to eat them. I am digging all of these new yummy foods I would have never thought to eat. I am so thankful for Marissa (my nutritionist) and the eye-opening education she is giving me.

Workouts this week were fantastic. I met with Jessica (my trainer) twice and I just love her. She is so calm and pleasant, and is definitely pushing me to do my best. In addition, I did cardio six days, two days at home and four days at the gym. This included running over three miles four times this week—and at a great pace (anywhere between a 9 minute to 11.5 minute mile). I kept imaging the “Rocky” theme song in my head to keep me going… that and a great new dress that I will rock (get it? rock—Rocky? ha!) as I keep losing weight!

I was on a tear and biked nine miles with my sister…and also felt adventurous enough to try some new machines. I wanted to change things up so I would burn more calories, sweat more, and keep myself from getting bored. The stepper and the cross-country ski machines were very hard for me. I kept slipping off the step machine so I was definitely challenged there, and the cross-country ski-machine, well, lets just leave that for the experts. I felt awkward and couldnt get the machine to stop! My legs were flying and if it hadnt been attached to the ground, I wouldve gone soaring into the bikes.

This weeks goals: Not to sabotage myself because I lost weight.
I constantly do this: I lose weight, then go off the deep end and go to McDonalds or have a few bags of chips because I am feeling confident—in other words, self-sabotage. I faced this head-on this week. After my stellar 6.5
weight loss, I was feeling awesome! Ya know how you get all cocky and stuff after you lost weight? You do, right, or is it just me?

Anyway, my clothes are fitting better, my face is slimmer, and I was walking with pride…and then BAM! The self-sabotage reflex kicked in. I got a case of what I like to call the confidents, the old “I lost weight so I deserve this ice cream sundae” mantra that I keep in my back pocket. Until this week, I never realized how glaring shame spiral that follows it is.

This week I found myself sitting on my hands when I went out to dinner with my friends, but still managed to eat two, just two, onion rings and then the bell went off and RING! Im shame-spiraling into the abyss. I ended up weighing myself four times in one day! So not healthy! Hello, can we say obsessive?

The guilt was leaking into each and every meal. I fought my inner demons and tried not to cave, and the only way I could move forward was to finally deal with it like an adult.

So I took a deep breath, threw away the guilt, and faced the aftermath of eating something not healthy head-on. I asked myself some questions: Did the world end? Did I enjoy the food? If I did, then it's okay. If I didn't, then why did I indulge in it? Was I nervous or eating emotionally? I came to the conclusion that theres no point to eating unhealthy, fattening foods if you are going to put yourself through the wringer. If you are going to indulge a little, it must, must be guilt free—otherwise, dont do it. The aftermath is so not worth it and can lead to overeating at meals.

  • Next Page: Get more sleep [ pagebreak ]
  • Get more sleep.
  • I totally failed at this one this week—ugh! I need more sleep and know its essential to losing weight and feeling good. So why the hell dont I do it? Maybe I need to put down the to-do list and realize that if it doesnt get done today, the world wont end. I probably also need to turn off the TV, look into the mirror every night at around 10 pm, and recite “You are getting sleepy, sleeeppy.” before going to bed.

This weeks challenges: Prepare for vacation!
I got so sidetracked and nervous about vacation I forgot to food shop on Sunday. Monday morning I had nothing in the house, and had to improvise. Damn! Being prepared and having a plan is KEY for me! I went out Monday and got my arsenal of supplies, and had another good week (aside from those pesky onion rings!!).

What is throwing me off is the week-long vacation. I am not worried about exercising on vacation, because we do that already. What is getting me is the food. I should have total control of my food, as were renting a house. But does my food have control of me? I have a nasty little habit: Im a picker. Im a total Picky McPickerson and have the mindset that the little stuff I pick on doesnt add up to a full meal and therefore isnt hurting me. WRONG!

I am nervous about picking on all the stuff that is around, I have bought all of my vacation supplies: Wasa crackers, Laughing Cow cheese, lettuce, veggies, baba ganoush, fruit—one would think that this would make me feel relatively safe. The thing is, every stinking year I gain weight on this vacation! I exercise every day and play all the silly (but fun) games at the resort—double dare, pool games, Amazing Race, etc.

We are very active but I always gain, and I know its because Im Picky McPickerson. A handful of chips here, a drink there, a bite of ice cream here. So my goal is to be prepared (kinda like the Girls Scouts) and to make a mental note that “here” and “there” usually end up on my stomach, hips, and thighs! Like my cousin Ed would say, “A moment on your lips, forever on your hips.” I might have my husband attach a zapper to my butt and every time I pick, have him ZAP me so Ill stop. Do you think that will work?

I also have to weigh myself at the resort. I know scales can be different, and Im freaking about that too!

Weight lost:
(Drum roll please…. I weighed myself at the resort and the resort scale said…) 1.5 pounds lost!!! YEAH!! Hopefully its accurate!!