{"id":15445,"date":"2008-06-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-19T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/1millionbestdownloads.com\/condition-depression-i-recovered-from-depression-by-connecting-with-others\/"},"modified":"2008-06-19T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-06-19T00:00:00","slug":"condition-depression-i-recovered-from-depression-by-connecting-with-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/1millionbestdownloads.com\/condition-depression-i-recovered-from-depression-by-connecting-with-others\/","title":{"rendered":"I Recovered From Depression by Connecting With Others"},"content":{"rendered":"
"I was compelled to let people know it isnt normal to feel depressed all the time."(DEBORAH GRAY)Its hard to recall when I first felt depressed, because for a long time it was indistinguishable from my personality. As a child I was introverted. Giving and receiving physical or verbal affection made me uncomfortable. My parents divorced when I was 2, and for years I dated men twice my age in an attempt to fix my relationship with my father. I believe my depression started when I was just 7 years old.<\/p>\n My doctor said I had PMS!<\/b> After graduation I found a job, but I was barely making it through the workday. I would do only what was absolutely necessary: Get up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. There was no joy, motivation, or sense of accomplishment. Though I wasnt suicidal, I couldnt imagine life five years down the road.<\/p>\n It wasnt until I was 27, when I read Darkness Visible<\/a><\/i> by William Styron, that I understood what was wrong with me. He articulated beautifully all of the feelings of loneliness and despair Id been fighting for the past 20 years.<\/p>\n Next Page: Depression diagnosis<\/a> [ pagebreak ]Depression diagnosis<\/b> Talk therapy<\/a> was a good start, but its hard to participate when youre so completely absorbed in your depression. My thoughts moved like mud, and I couldnt feel anything.<\/p>\n Six months after my depression diagnosis, I decided to take Norpramin. It took about six weeks for my body to adjust, but it was a complete 180. Small things that used to require all my energy, like taking a walk, became effortless, and I could express my emotions in therapy.<\/p>\n There were some unpleasant side effects—morning nausea, dry mouth (which caused my teeth to decalcify)—but I took Norpramin for 10 years. Id choose the negative side effects over being depressed any day.<\/p>\n Breaking the silence<\/b> Almost immediately, people emailed me to ask for advice and to tell me they were relieved to hear of someone else with the same problem. To help connect others, I began a forum for others to lick their wounds, feel less alone, and get encouragement. It was hard to coordinate, but it helped me evolve into a crusader for depression.<\/p>\n Even with the website, I couldnt deal with depression by myself. I was still going to therapy and trying to switch to an antidepressant without as many negative side effects. I spent a year on Prozac, in part because my doctor felt it would also help my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)<\/a>. He was right, but it caused anorgasmia and my personality felt flattened. I went back to Norpramin for a few years and eventually switched to Wellbutrin.<\/p>\n In 2000, I hit another roadblock when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), a disease affecting the central nervous system. I lost my job shortly thereafter. My husband, George, and I were living in a rural area, and it was isolating to deal with MS and depression without a job to distract me. I began to work even harder on the website, and it became my community. It strengthened me for the next life change I was planning.<\/p>\n Next Page: Dealing with depression during pregnancy<\/a> [ pagebreak ]Dealing with depression during pregnancy<\/b> I had gone off antidepressants once before, when I was trying to conceive with my first husband, and it was the most horrible three months. My depression was worse than it had been beforehand. I fully expected it to continue, but I was shocked when I didnt experience any depression during my pregnancy. It was as though I was still on my medication. As soon as I gave birth to my son, Lawrence, I began taking Wellbutrin again to avoid any bouts of postpartum depression.<\/p>\n Having MS while working and trying to keep up with a very active little boy is a challenge, but I refuse to just crumple up into a little ball. Some people are fragile, but Im just too damned stubborn to waste time moaning and groaning about how fate has dealt me a bad hand. Im not even sure if Ive learned to cope with depression, but antidepressants are a lifesaver.<\/p>\n
In college, my depression became severe. My grades were so terrible that I was kicked out for a semester. I had zero motivation to go to class, study, or do anything. Most students feel the stress of growing up, but I realized my problems were more than stress. I constantly pushed away people who tried to be my friend, didnt leave my room, and had no energy to do mundane tasks like laundry. When I finally went to a clinic, the doctor told me I had PMS<\/a>! My low mood wasnt cyclical, but I didnt know what else it could be. He sent me away with instructions to keep a diary, but when youre depressed, its hard to articulate your thoughts, much less write them down. I never saw that doctor again.<\/p>\n
I made an appointment with the head of psychiatry at a nearby hospital. He diagnosed me with depression and set up a meeting with a psychiatrist and psychologist, who suggested I begin therapy<\/a> and get on antidepressants<\/a>. As a teenager I had been on sedatives for migraine equivalents that had caused grogginess and flattened personality, so I was somewhat antimedication and opted not to get a prescription.<\/p>\n
Silence kept me away from treating my depression, and its what keeps others away too. It's so isolating. I was compelled to let people know it isnt normal to feel depressed all the time. So in 1995, I started my website, Wing of Madness<\/a>, because I wasted so much time suffering.<\/p>\n
Ever since I was diagnosed with depression, I dreaded the day when I would become pregnant. I wanted children, but most antidepressants carry a small risk for the fetus. I assumed Id spend the majority of my pregnancy depressed. When I found out I was pregnant in 2002, I called my psychopharmacologist, who advised me on how to wean myself off my medication.<\/p>\n