In her many quirky, comedic roles, Anna Faris has proven she isn't afraid to go there on screen (The House Bunny,anyone?). And in her new book, Unqualified ($20; amazon.com), she proves she's just as daring and hilarious on paper.
The Mom star's memoir-slash-relationship-advice-book covers everything from body insecurity to her pursuit of Chris Pratt (the couple recently separated) to exactly how she grooms her pubic hair. Below are the five most honest, relatable revelations from Faris' tell-all.
She had an emotional affair
Faris was married to actor Ben Indra when she met Pratt on the set of Take Me Home Tonight in 2007. She explains that at the time, both she and Indra were unhappy in their marriage, but she was technically still off the market. As for Pratt, she was "constantly looking for proof that he wasn't as great as he seemed."
Faris called her then-husband and told him she was leaving him over the phone. Soon enough, "I was knocking on Chris' door and was basically like, 'Hi, I'm ready to get boned,'" she writes.
Faris goes on to describe feeling like a "villain" afterward, and admits that she delayed ending her relationship with Indra because the whole breaking-up process felt overwhelming, even though it was overdue. She vowed not to sleep with anyone else before they separated; but looking back, she says she has "complicated feelings" about that pledge.
"Not that I think I should have cheated on him, but I realize that that moral stance was basically a way to let myself off the hook," she writes. "Sure, I get to proclaim I didn't f— Chris before I left Ben, but what is there to celebrate in that? It didn't make me a hero. After all, I wanted to. Desperately. And I had my feelings for him, obviously, even if I wasn't honest with myself about what those were."
She’s not up to date on pubic hair trends
In one chapter titled "The Bush Is Back," Faris talks about starting laser hair removal on her bikini line at age 39. "To be clear, I'm not bare," she says. "I just wanted to get cleaned up so that I wouldn't have to worry about shaving when I put on a bathing suit."
But her gynecologist told her she was behind the times, and that bush was already back. "It's so like me to do something just as the trend is waning," she jokes.
She’s dealt with body image issues
In another chapter, Faris ranks her biggest body qualms over the years. Her top four, in order: lips, breasts, weight, then hands. "Yes, it's sad that I can cite a list, and that I can guarantee that all women have these lists," she says.
While filming The House Bunny, she started getting lip injections, something she says she realized was a mistake later on when people began to notice a difference. She also felt motivated to get breast augmentation surgery around the same time.
"I wanted to feel sexy in a way that I hadn't been feeling, and I'll be honest, after getting the surgery, I did," Faris says. Today, the actress harbors no regrets. "It does bother me that women are very much criticized by other women for these kinds of choices. They are, admittedly, dramatic ones—luxurious, even frivolous, decisions … But I don't know why we're quite so hard on each other about it."
If you're wondering about her hands, Faris bites her nails and has large knuckles, she says, which make her paws "basically German-immigrant potato-farming hands." The pro: they're small, and "make penises look big," she says.
She has a “complicated relationship” with masturbation
Faris went through a "crazy masturbation phase" during her freshman year of college; but as an adult, she feels less comfortable with self-love. "I love being intimate with my husband, but I have a lot of trouble being intimate with myself," she says. "I feel like getting myself off would force me to confront the things that terrify me about myself, and to face sexual desires I don't even know I have. Masturbation acknowledges your sexuality in a way that we never did in my household, and while it was easy to get stoned in college and block out those childhood messages, as an adult I find it surprisingly difficult."
Her pregnancy wasn’t as romantic as she thought it would be
Faris got pregnant at age 35 after trying for a year with Pratt, even though she assumed all she'd need to do was go off birth control. "Rather than bothering ourselves with checking my ovulation or taking my temperature or any of that stuff that maybe is actually useful, we just thought we'd burn some candles and set the mood and poof! A baby." After that year of trying, she finally started "feeling" pregnant. Faris remembers she had to pee frequently, and felt tired and bloated and hungry.
Her son, Jack, was born premature, and suffered severe brain bleeding. Doctors told Faris and Pratt there was a possibility he would be developmentally disabled. After a month in the neonatal intensive care unit, the couple was finally able to take Jack home. He weighed just 4 lbs., 3 oz.
Faris shares in the book that Jack, now 5, still has minor physical problems, including stiff legs that cause him to walk on his toes; and he wears glasses and an eye patch for 20 minutes each day to strengthen his vision. But she considers their family "extremely lucky," and says they are "grateful every day."