Why Melissa Gilbert Ditched Her Breast Implants at Age 50

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New Year, new real breasts: Melissa Gilbert, 50, has revealed that she's ringing in 2015 by removing the breast implants she got in her twenties.

In a hilariously-titled blog post, "A Tale of Two Titties," the former Little House on the Prairie star shared her reasons for scheduling surgery this week to reverse her boob job: "A. I am concerned for my health and 2. I don't like the way they look or feel. Frankly, I'd like to be able to take a Zumba class without the fear that I'll end up with two black eyes."

That kind of breast confidence wasn't always her thing, she admits. Gilbert got saline breast implants after divorcing her first husband, who referred to her post-breastfeeding boobs as "socks full of marbles with knots at the top."

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Let us pause for a moment to absorb those horrible, terrible words. She worried that new romantic partners would have a similar reaction to her post-baby chest: "Dating posed the terrifying prospect of the guy I chose to make love with next, undoing my bra and running away in abject terror." So she got the boob job.

But little-known fact: Breast implants often require revision surgeries (it's uplift with serious upkeep). After having and nursing a second son, the star went back under the knife in 2004 to redo and lift, this time with silicone-filled implants. Now, she's concerned that the silicone could give her future health problems. Some research has linked implants to connective-tissue autoimmune diseases and a very rare form of Lymphoma; the FDA says the research tying them to connective tissue diseases isn't strong.

Thankfully, one guy in her life does NOT lack the sensitivity gene: Gilbert's husband of almost two years, actor Timothy Busfield. The Thirtysomething star is fully behind her decision to downsize up top: "My sweet husband went with [to the pre-op appointment]. He only wants me to be healthy."

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